Sometimes I think it would be really nice to look my age. I had a woman chortle at me last week “it’s just so shocking how much you kids these days know!” How old was she you ask? Thirty. Just Thirty. Only two years older than I am. Still in the age range of a potential friend if she wasn’t so freakin’ ornery. Not a big enough gap to consider me a kid.
I go to the store and I get carded for over the counter drugs. I get carded for aerosol spray bottles of varnish. I get carded for WHITE OUT!!! Cashier Can I see some ID? “For what?” The white out. You could sniff it and get high you know. “Oh. How old do you have to be to purchase white out?” 18. “So by the time the time you’re 18 they’ve decided you’re old enough to make an appropriate decision on whether or not to get high off of white out?” I’m sure by now the cashier is thinking I sooo don’t get paid enough for this! But instead she responds Uh… I guess. Can I just see your ID? “Sure. You were going to ask to see it for my credit card anyway…”
Sometimes it’s not so bad. Dave and I have gone to a high school play and the cashier charged us for the student price. Maybe when we have kids in High School I can spy on them by pretending to be one of them and enrolling in High School again. Then again, maybe not the best idea. “I’m not Josie Gross-y anymore!” to quote a movie I watched in High School and maybe need to watch again tonight.
But if this keeps up we’ll have to fight for our senior citizen discounts! Just imagine me as a little old lady in bright floral print standing at the register clutching her cane in one hand and credit card in the other exclaiming “I really am old enough!!! It’s Tuesday before 11, give me my 10% discount! I just left my driver’s license at home; I swear!” No way lady, you don’t even look 30! Just because you dress bad doesn’t mean you get a discount.